So I've dropped off the face of the earth a bit. I've been dealing with a lot at home and not very well. I did that thing where I cleaned up a bit and cuz the house is so cluttered put the computer away so it was out of the way. Sad thing is that I'm really an out of sight out of mind person and before I knew it weeks had passed. I'm not sure that I'll do better in the days to come. But I will try not to forget so completely again.
In other news. Peanut is almost done with school. I long for warm weather and not all the cold wet rain we've been getting. Nugget is growing by leaps and bounds. And there is still never enough time in a day.
TTFN.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Meaning.....
Ahhh it's Spin time. I've been thinking about this one a lot through the last week. For a while all that I came up with was
"wheel of morality turn, turn, turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn." "turny, turny, turny, turny."
Which tells you that my brain wasn't really in the contemplations for a while. (For those of you that are wondering that's from Animaniacs).
However, I think I now know the direction that I want this to take.
Think about words. Where did they come from? Why do we have so many that mean the same thing? How do we know that the words that we are using are the correct ones? Who came up with what means what?
Well the most basic answer is that most words originate from Latin basis. But not all. And where did the Latin language originate? When you think about it often a word comes from someone just making it up. I do it often when I can't find the right words to say what I want. So who's to say that didn't happen umpteen whatsits years ago.
I think that often we need so many words to say the same thing because we put different variances on them, or we want to be original, we want our words to be remembered. So we use descriptive words that make us unique to someone else. But think about it do we really need this excess of words. Chew, Masticate, Gnaw. Pretty, Beautiful, Stunning, Gorgeous. Flashy, Flamboyant, Glittery, Bling. And so on. How did so many words come about?? What's the reasoning behind all the descriptive words we use. Heck we even have words to describe WORDS! Flowery, Romantic, Terse, Glib, Flowing.
Also I've often sat awake on insomniatic nights and wondered to myself how we know that what we are calling things is what we were intended to. Think about it. At some point someone chose to write down a dictionary of language. A chart of what words meant. But what if once the master copy was done what if it was handed off to a lackey to make copies of. Often copiers weren't required to be able to read. They just had to make a copy of what was written..And who's to say they didn't get messed up down the line. We've all done it, just bumped that second column up one and suddenly it doesn't match what's in the first column. So now the description for a door is across from the word chair....how are we to know the difference. I know that there are ways to prove me wrong in written history somehow. But that's what I'm talking about, the unwritten history, what came before we put it all in some kind of log.
I'm rambling a bit I know. However, I think that what I'm getting at is this. We all have our own personal language. And it is the intention behind the words that gives them power. (My Nana only ever called my Grandpa "Richard" in my hearing, But she had about 50 different ways of inflecting on it that let you know exactly how she was feeling). There is no right or wrong way to use words or speak. The goal is communication. And if you can communicate with someone, well you are lucky. So think before you speak think of the words you are using and why. Think of the impact they will have on the people around you. Words have the potential to change the world. Because even the tiniest ripple (like that new phrase you came up with just yesterday) can become a wave. Words are just words yes, but how you use them, the inflection you put behind them, the raw meaning is all part of what is being communicated.
For more great Spins about words check out Sprite's Keeper!
"wheel of morality turn, turn, turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn." "turny, turny, turny, turny."
Which tells you that my brain wasn't really in the contemplations for a while. (For those of you that are wondering that's from Animaniacs).
However, I think I now know the direction that I want this to take.
Think about words. Where did they come from? Why do we have so many that mean the same thing? How do we know that the words that we are using are the correct ones? Who came up with what means what?
Well the most basic answer is that most words originate from Latin basis. But not all. And where did the Latin language originate? When you think about it often a word comes from someone just making it up. I do it often when I can't find the right words to say what I want. So who's to say that didn't happen umpteen whatsits years ago.
I think that often we need so many words to say the same thing because we put different variances on them, or we want to be original, we want our words to be remembered. So we use descriptive words that make us unique to someone else. But think about it do we really need this excess of words. Chew, Masticate, Gnaw. Pretty, Beautiful, Stunning, Gorgeous. Flashy, Flamboyant, Glittery, Bling. And so on. How did so many words come about?? What's the reasoning behind all the descriptive words we use. Heck we even have words to describe WORDS! Flowery, Romantic, Terse, Glib, Flowing.
Also I've often sat awake on insomniatic nights and wondered to myself how we know that what we are calling things is what we were intended to. Think about it. At some point someone chose to write down a dictionary of language. A chart of what words meant. But what if once the master copy was done what if it was handed off to a lackey to make copies of. Often copiers weren't required to be able to read. They just had to make a copy of what was written..And who's to say they didn't get messed up down the line. We've all done it, just bumped that second column up one and suddenly it doesn't match what's in the first column. So now the description for a door is across from the word chair....how are we to know the difference. I know that there are ways to prove me wrong in written history somehow. But that's what I'm talking about, the unwritten history, what came before we put it all in some kind of log.
I'm rambling a bit I know. However, I think that what I'm getting at is this. We all have our own personal language. And it is the intention behind the words that gives them power. (My Nana only ever called my Grandpa "Richard" in my hearing, But she had about 50 different ways of inflecting on it that let you know exactly how she was feeling). There is no right or wrong way to use words or speak. The goal is communication. And if you can communicate with someone, well you are lucky. So think before you speak think of the words you are using and why. Think of the impact they will have on the people around you. Words have the potential to change the world. Because even the tiniest ripple (like that new phrase you came up with just yesterday) can become a wave. Words are just words yes, but how you use them, the inflection you put behind them, the raw meaning is all part of what is being communicated.
For more great Spins about words check out Sprite's Keeper!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Random Though Tuesday: Shows, and Painting, and Rain oh my.
Last night I did a Pampered chef show. It was awesome. I had the best hostess. She did everything that you are supposed to do. she got outside orders before hand. She invited tons of people and followed up with them by calling. She had a great turn out. And she is going to get a handful of more orders by tracking down people who said they would. And you know why because she knows that the more sales that she has the more free and discounted items she gets. I love her to death. I think it was my best show yet and I had tons of fun. I didn't feel awkward or fumbbly at all. HOOORAY!
My son started crawling today. Not just his army crawl, not just a few little tries here and there, but all out across the living room crawling. I'm in so much trouble.
I started painting my hallway today. It's going to be a very pale green. I wanted something that was more sage-y. But somehow when mixed I got something minty....Oh well. My Husband says that it's all gray to him (he's mildly color blind) :).
I have unearthed my house from the mess that I let it become. It was great today to come out to the living room and see the floor. It was also great to have a table space to eat at...really need to keep up with this whole cleaning thing.
I have to take the cat to the vet today...just a check up but I hate doing it anyway. It's such a hassle. One of these days I need to find a house in the country and just have barn cats or something....ones that roam and aren't "'ours" so I don't have to fee so responsible for them.
that sounded snarky
I also have to take my son in for his 9 month check up. That is also a hassle but one that I'm willing to put up with. He is so damn cute and I can't believe how big he is.
We lay down grass seed just the other day. And then last night it rained something crazy like 3 inches in 3 hours. So my Husband is pissed cuz he thinks all the seed got washed away...i said to give it time. I'm sure it's ok....maybe.
In other news I LOVED that it rained I think that thunderstorms are the best thing ever.
We have a very full week this week. I'm trying to get the house painted and nice (because we may be looking to sell soon). And we are looking at houses. And doing all the chores and errands that come with that. It's not fun as my husband is on midnights this week, means he's loosing sleep and he's a bear.
My son went down for a nap today with out protest. No squeak of indignation at being put down. Just rolled over and conked out. I hope this means that he's getting used to going to bed on his own. And not that he was just too tired today.
I also totally finished painting my entertainment center. I love it. It's cream with stenciling of green ivy on it...I'd put up a picture but that takes too much time right now.
By the by did you know that it's damn difficult to find stencils in stores anymore. Everywhere I look it's all these damn rub-ons. So I just made my own. It was a pain in the ass...but the outcome was fabulous even if I do say so myself.
Well it's time for me to go and get ready for the day. So hope you liked this bit of random. For more awesome random posts check out The Un Mom!
My son started crawling today. Not just his army crawl, not just a few little tries here and there, but all out across the living room crawling. I'm in so much trouble.
I started painting my hallway today. It's going to be a very pale green. I wanted something that was more sage-y. But somehow when mixed I got something minty....Oh well. My Husband says that it's all gray to him (he's mildly color blind) :).
I have unearthed my house from the mess that I let it become. It was great today to come out to the living room and see the floor. It was also great to have a table space to eat at...really need to keep up with this whole cleaning thing.
I have to take the cat to the vet today...just a check up but I hate doing it anyway. It's such a hassle. One of these days I need to find a house in the country and just have barn cats or something....ones that roam and aren't "'ours" so I don't have to fee so responsible for them.
that sounded snarky
I also have to take my son in for his 9 month check up. That is also a hassle but one that I'm willing to put up with. He is so damn cute and I can't believe how big he is.
We lay down grass seed just the other day. And then last night it rained something crazy like 3 inches in 3 hours. So my Husband is pissed cuz he thinks all the seed got washed away...i said to give it time. I'm sure it's ok....maybe.
In other news I LOVED that it rained I think that thunderstorms are the best thing ever.
We have a very full week this week. I'm trying to get the house painted and nice (because we may be looking to sell soon). And we are looking at houses. And doing all the chores and errands that come with that. It's not fun as my husband is on midnights this week, means he's loosing sleep and he's a bear.
My son went down for a nap today with out protest. No squeak of indignation at being put down. Just rolled over and conked out. I hope this means that he's getting used to going to bed on his own. And not that he was just too tired today.
I also totally finished painting my entertainment center. I love it. It's cream with stenciling of green ivy on it...I'd put up a picture but that takes too much time right now.
By the by did you know that it's damn difficult to find stencils in stores anymore. Everywhere I look it's all these damn rub-ons. So I just made my own. It was a pain in the ass...but the outcome was fabulous even if I do say so myself.
Well it's time for me to go and get ready for the day. So hope you liked this bit of random. For more awesome random posts check out The Un Mom!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Monday's Muse: Words for thought.
See It Through
by Edgar A. Guest
When you're up against a trouble,
Meet it squarely, face to face;
Lift your chin and set your shoulders,
Plant your feet and take a brace.
When it's vain to try to dodge it,
Do the best that you can do;
You may fail, but you may conquer,
See it through!
Black may be the clouds about you
And your future may seem grim,
But don't let your nerve desert you;
Keep yourself in fighting trim.
If the worst is bound to happen,
Spite of all that you can do,
Running from it will not save you,
See it through!
Even hope may seem but futile,
When with troubles you're beset,
But remember you are facing
Just what other men have met.
You may fail, but fall still fighting;
Don't give up, whate'er you do;
Eyes front, head high to the finish.
See it through!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Pity Party: Table for one?
Today has been better than yesterday. Mostly. See the thing is when you have a BIG problem underlying everything it's hard to just take a day as it is. But I'm trying.
I chose to let my house fall to shambles today. I decided that I needed/deserved a respite. (This means that I can no longer find my favorite slippers or any surface area in the kitchen, but what the hell I'll deal tomorrow).
I woke up lazy today and stayed in bed talking to the Husband before he went to bed. When Peanut arose she piped up that she wanted pancakes. I'm not a big hot breakfast morning mom (I keep trying to be but I'm just not), but I thought you know what pancakes sound yummy. So pancakes we had. Even Nugget. That boy is rejecting "baby" food more and more for "big kid" food. He's only 9 mo for criminitly. That was nice. Then I have a bit of a blank as to what I did. (Oh yeah finished feeding and dressing boy-o and taking shower). I let Peanut watch a TON of Mr Rogers videos on line because really it's Mister Rogers. It's like the one show on the face of the planet that doesn't cause brain rot in kids. (IMO) The Hubby woke up WAAAYYYYY too early so we decided to go do drive bys of the houses we are contemplating looking at to maybe/possibly buy. After that it was lunch at Subway and then an impromptu trip the the movie theater to see "How to Train Your Dragon" (excellent movie). Home again we all hung out in the back yard for and hour-ish before I made a delicious meal of spaghetti-o's and beets. (OK well at least it was sustenance) My husband was going to grab a shower and help put the kids to bed....but he made the mistake of laying down. the dude's had so very little sleep this week I just decided to let him be. I got the kidlets to bed with no fuss from the Nugget and tons from miss sassy Peanut. But over all a decent bedtime.
So see not that bad a day as a matter of fact really good day, almost great. If only this darn personal gray cloud would stop following me I think I'd be able to appreciate it. I know I'm whining but too bad. I need to. I'm just so very mad at the world right now for too many reasons. I'm mad at me and at my Husband. I'm mad at how difficult life is and how no matter how many times I pull myself up there is always something coming at me that I'm not ready to handle. I'll like for just once in my 28 years of life to stand on solid ground. I'd like just one day a whole 24 hours all to myself with no responsibilities. No worrying about kids. No having to pump. No needing to watch alcohol intake. No having to be home at a certain time because I have to make sure everyone else has a life that runs smoothly.
I finally got a hold of my sister and talked with her a bit. She said "Honey, I think you need to come and visit me for a few days." I said "I think I do too. However, on Sunday Peanut has a costume fitting and then goes to her dad's, on Monday I have a doctor's appointment and a show to do, on Tues Mischief goes to the vet and Nugget goes to the Doc, Weds I get Peanut back again AND she has dance, Thursday Peanut has School. How bout Friday?" See this is me running my ass off. And every week is like this. Every time I think I have stuff organized, scheduled, etc. I find that really 24 hours in a day isn't that long at all and I'm out of time yet again.
*bangs head on wall* I'm feeling very bitter right now. This was not THE PLAN. I wasn't going to be some tied down mom. I would NEVER EVER trade my children for anything. But I would really like it if everyone here could just give me a break and I could stop for just a bit. Stop DOING and have a chance just to BE. Just me. Not mom, not wife, not daughter, sister, friend, confidant, jungle gym, storyteller, game maker, and so on, just me, the one, the only, with no substitutions, extensions or refunds. (ohhh look I attempted humor here).
OK my pity party is over for today, come back tomorrow if you want more. (This may be the theme for a while until I work out my issue/s). Hope you can stand it. If not, well don't read for a bit.
I chose to let my house fall to shambles today. I decided that I needed/deserved a respite. (This means that I can no longer find my favorite slippers or any surface area in the kitchen, but what the hell I'll deal tomorrow).
I woke up lazy today and stayed in bed talking to the Husband before he went to bed. When Peanut arose she piped up that she wanted pancakes. I'm not a big hot breakfast morning mom (I keep trying to be but I'm just not), but I thought you know what pancakes sound yummy. So pancakes we had. Even Nugget. That boy is rejecting "baby" food more and more for "big kid" food. He's only 9 mo for criminitly. That was nice. Then I have a bit of a blank as to what I did. (Oh yeah finished feeding and dressing boy-o and taking shower). I let Peanut watch a TON of Mr Rogers videos on line because really it's Mister Rogers. It's like the one show on the face of the planet that doesn't cause brain rot in kids. (IMO) The Hubby woke up WAAAYYYYY too early so we decided to go do drive bys of the houses we are contemplating looking at to maybe/possibly buy. After that it was lunch at Subway and then an impromptu trip the the movie theater to see "How to Train Your Dragon" (excellent movie). Home again we all hung out in the back yard for and hour-ish before I made a delicious meal of spaghetti-o's and beets. (OK well at least it was sustenance) My husband was going to grab a shower and help put the kids to bed....but he made the mistake of laying down. the dude's had so very little sleep this week I just decided to let him be. I got the kidlets to bed with no fuss from the Nugget and tons from miss sassy Peanut. But over all a decent bedtime.
So see not that bad a day as a matter of fact really good day, almost great. If only this darn personal gray cloud would stop following me I think I'd be able to appreciate it. I know I'm whining but too bad. I need to. I'm just so very mad at the world right now for too many reasons. I'm mad at me and at my Husband. I'm mad at how difficult life is and how no matter how many times I pull myself up there is always something coming at me that I'm not ready to handle. I'll like for just once in my 28 years of life to stand on solid ground. I'd like just one day a whole 24 hours all to myself with no responsibilities. No worrying about kids. No having to pump. No needing to watch alcohol intake. No having to be home at a certain time because I have to make sure everyone else has a life that runs smoothly.
I finally got a hold of my sister and talked with her a bit. She said "Honey, I think you need to come and visit me for a few days." I said "I think I do too. However, on Sunday Peanut has a costume fitting and then goes to her dad's, on Monday I have a doctor's appointment and a show to do, on Tues Mischief goes to the vet and Nugget goes to the Doc, Weds I get Peanut back again AND she has dance, Thursday Peanut has School. How bout Friday?" See this is me running my ass off. And every week is like this. Every time I think I have stuff organized, scheduled, etc. I find that really 24 hours in a day isn't that long at all and I'm out of time yet again.
*bangs head on wall* I'm feeling very bitter right now. This was not THE PLAN. I wasn't going to be some tied down mom. I would NEVER EVER trade my children for anything. But I would really like it if everyone here could just give me a break and I could stop for just a bit. Stop DOING and have a chance just to BE. Just me. Not mom, not wife, not daughter, sister, friend, confidant, jungle gym, storyteller, game maker, and so on, just me, the one, the only, with no substitutions, extensions or refunds. (ohhh look I attempted humor here).
OK my pity party is over for today, come back tomorrow if you want more. (This may be the theme for a while until I work out my issue/s). Hope you can stand it. If not, well don't read for a bit.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Well shit.
Today is hard. In so many ways. And I'm feeling a little lost as I have no one I can really talk to. I don't have a large group of female friends to turn to. My Mom was my go to gal so I'm missing her something awful today. I tried to call my sister but she had a major migraine and couldn't talk. I'm not mad at her or anything, I just feel adrift. I think I need a bigger safety net and I don't really know how to create one. I used to be great at making friends but now it takes me a really long time to trust someone enough to open up about the important things. That doesn't mean that I don't have friends, just that I don't feel comfortable confiding in them (so maybe that makes them only acquaintances). My Husband is great, but there are somethings that he just can't empathize with as he's never had to deal with them. I know I'm not even talking about my problem/s here either, and that's 'cuz I'm not ready to. But I just needed to do something to try and work the emotions out. I'm not sure I'm succeeding. I just want my Mommy.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Novel Names Anyone?
I just did more work on my NaNoWriMo novel and I'm feeling the crunch. I really want to get it done so that I have that lovely copy all my own to put on my book shelf....But I'm worried that I've left it so long that I'm only going to have time for a sloppy edit. Oh well get it done I shall and This November I'll do better. (I hope). I was going to leave an excerpt, but I couldn't find anything that I found funny. Instead I'll ask for help with a book title.
My working title is Baby Steps, But I don't really feel that it fits any more. The story is basically a faux journal of a girl going from about the age of 9 to maybe 20/ 25....(I'm not sure where it will end yet as time is a factor). And all of the difficult things she has to face in her life. This includes her unanswered questions as to what makes an adult. The hope is that the reader will see growth not only in "her" writing style, but in the way she handles the obstacles that present themselves. In essence reducing the questioning factor as she ages. The entries have large gaps of time between them and aren't dated. I want it to feel like going into the attic and finding the journal of someone that you've never met, but feel for none the less.
So give me your suggestions and maybe I'll find something more fitting.
My working title is Baby Steps, But I don't really feel that it fits any more. The story is basically a faux journal of a girl going from about the age of 9 to maybe 20/ 25....(I'm not sure where it will end yet as time is a factor). And all of the difficult things she has to face in her life. This includes her unanswered questions as to what makes an adult. The hope is that the reader will see growth not only in "her" writing style, but in the way she handles the obstacles that present themselves. In essence reducing the questioning factor as she ages. The entries have large gaps of time between them and aren't dated. I want it to feel like going into the attic and finding the journal of someone that you've never met, but feel for none the less.
So give me your suggestions and maybe I'll find something more fitting.
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