The last few days have been heck-tic, but that's fairly usual here. Lately I've been so forgetful. I have lists upon lists scattered throughout my house that I fail to grab, so don't remember to do what's on them. It's rather frustrating. I've been trying to get ready for the weekend as I'll be gone for 12 hours each Saturday and Sunday yet again. Thankfully as I put in my two weeks it's the last time that I will have to do so. I'm a little nervous as my husband is only working a temp job right now. And while I'm doing Pampered Chef work I'm not yet at that point where it's really lucrative yet. I have to build a client base first and that's a way from happening. Not to mention that in a small town like Hutch having one or two other consultants really narrows the field. That's OK. I'll just keep on keeping on as per usual and fake it til I make it. *laughs* Also there was a flier sent out from my daughters school for reading tutors for next year that I'm REALLY interested in. So I have to remember to check into that on Mon. I'll have to add it to the list. *grins*
In other news I was thinking about how I've been so busy trying to figure out how to juggle 2 kids lately and how I feel like I'm constantly not appreciating them. So I'm going to take a minute here and write some things about them that I LOVE and don't want to forget.
My peanut is so beautiful. I love how she makes up songs about EVERYTHING. She is so funny. I love that she makes me have to really think about the answers that I give her. She uses these great big words that sound absolutely adorable coming out of her mouth. She wants so badly to be and adult everything she does is an imitation. The other day she hiked her purse up on her arm and flipped her hair over her shoulder (such a girl) I love her smile and the wild way she flings herself at me to hug me, full on body slam. I love the way her slender arms wrap around me when I carry her in her sleep and the sleepy things she mumbles (last night it was about trampolines!). I always want to remember the way that her eyes light up at a new game and how she thinks that I'm the "best mom ever" because I got her dollar store lip gloss. She is so brilliant. I am amazed listening to her sound out words as SHE now reads our bedtime stories to me. And I think she's the best girl in the world when I here her over the monitor cooing to her baby brother, giving him toys, singing him songs and tickling him to try to cheer him up when he's sad. She's the best 5 year old I know.
Nugget is my sweetest boy. I love how he can be crying but the minute I pick him up he's off like a switch and all smiles. I love his laugh. Sometimes he'll laugh just because his dad or I walk into a room. I love how he's growing so strong. He scoots EVERYWHERE now. And he's so anxious to be a big boy. He watches us all while we eat or do chores like hes storing every move we make for later. I love when he's punch drunk tired and all loopy and giggle-some. He's so sweet when he's cranky and just nuzzles right into my neck or shirt like he can force himself closer to me and that will make it all better. I love when he reaches out with his little baby hand and just strokes my face like he's trying to memorize it. He is obsessed with my phone and wants to grab it every time I use it, so much so that I have it on speaker phone 99% of the time now. I look at him and can't believe how beautiful he is.
I am a very lucky mama to have two such awesome kids.
Last night I lay in bed reminiscing with my husband about how we met. Or more what we felt when we first really noticed each other. It was nice to lay there and remember why I fell for the big goon in the first place. Sometimes in the daily grind and the petty arguments I forget that he's one of the sweetest men I've ever met. Sometimes he can be so practical that I want to tear my hair out, but I forget that's why I wanted him in the first place, because I'm not logical and I sometimes need someone to bring me back down to earth. And he makes me laugh, lord does the man make me laugh. And I think that's important, laughter. Being able to laugh not only with each other, but at life and at myself. Also sometimes I forget how supportive he his. There are times when he doesn't act like it, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty he's on my side 100% and I need that.
I've noticed in my life that I need a whole cheering section just to get things done. It's not that I procrastinate (though I do) and it's not that I don't want to complete tasks, it's just that no matter what, I have this under lying doubt of my own abilities. And if I don't have someone there singing "rah rah rah's" to me I tend to think I'm no good. I didn't used to feel that way so I know it's a total lie but it's one that FEELS true. So something I have to work on.
Well this blog has meandered on longer than I anticipated so I should go get my ass to bed as I have to wake up FAR too early tomorrow. *gah* I can't wait for Monday.